All The Candle News That's Unfit To Print

Stonehange Candle

Dateline 9/26/97

A photograph taken by a police stakeout team assigned to observe a group involved in a bizarre ritual may shed some light on the age old mystery of Stonehenge. The officers were getting into their car following the ritual and were the only persons remaining on the scene. Although in a state of shock, they did manage to snap this photo before it disappeared.

Although local authorities have had no comment, a noted archeologist has been quoted as saying "All this time we thought it was a place of special significance, but it was just a giant candle holder". There is renewed interest in cooperating with astronomers since the discovery of a huge candle orbiting Mars on 9/24/97.

The appearance of two monolithic candles in our Solar System has many wondering if aliens are planning to invade for or resources of paraffin. The appearance of an alien scout candle with an appetite for cats in the U.S. on 9/25/97 supports this theory. Others wonder if they are after our Hot Melt Glue - an ingredient commonly used by mad scientist candle makers. One noted Scientist previously quoted about the Mars candle said "At least all their candles don't show a complete lack of taste".

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